Mindful Manipulation

I need to be very careful here, because I try to be a respectful person. I try really hard to listen and understand people’s opinions and not impose my own over others.

Here comes the but…

I read an article yesterday which told about a speech someone gave in my state. As I read, I could feel every muscle start to tense up and then I began to tremble. My stomach knotted up and I got wicked nauseous almost needing to run to the bathroom.

Honestly I don’t understand. I have tried to figure out why it so deeply upsets me, to make sure I am not actually upset about something else and it is coming out when I learn more about things that are said. But maybe there isn’t a hidden thing and this time, it is an honest disgust with someone.

What I can’t understand is people who are so into this person. Granted, I am not pleased with how things are going now, and I would not chose the same as I did before by any means. But I certainly wouldn’t chose the person who made the speech either.

I am struggling with staying vague because I do not want to start something that might upset anyone reading this, the way I was upset reading the article. Yet at the same time I want to scream. Maybe I should be more clear. Maybe this is the time to speak up? I just can’t decide.

Am I hiding behind integrity and being respectful to others thoughts or am I just playing with more avoidance? Am I being a coward? I don’t want to be someone who doesn’t stand up for what they believe or feel is right.

With that thought, I will be a little more clear, and if you figure out who I will not name, and you agree with this person, allow me the right to disagree. There isn’t anything for you to defend.

I really believed in an institution, before a few years ago. I thought there was no way the people in this country would desire a leader who… is a criminal. I do not say this lightly or without facts to support it though I am not going to defend the opinion in that way at this time.

This time, I am going to say that I have lost my belief. I’ve lost my belief in “the people” and in our leadership. I do not refer to policies I refer to a personality. Someone who should by all rights be in jail for things they have done. I still have hope they will be put away. Even an institution would be better than this person being out in public talking.

When it comes to a contest of any type, I really get turned off by people who talk against someone else as oppose to what good they could bring by winning. I can’t listen to conceited arrogance. Nor delusion. But what is worse is the droves of others who are. I really didn’t think we as a people were that bad to believe the arrogance and delusion. So many people supporting this person’s statements… Listening to what I equate with, well, evil. The force within this person I see as evil.

Is this what happened in Germany with Hitler? How was he able to do what he did and not have the people rise up and say what the hell is wrong with you? I think I may try to research that a little because I honestly do not know much about the people of Germany and how they felt when he was killing people to create his master race. Did he con his people into voting him in? Did they know what he planned? I don’t know, so I will research to see.

I am not oblivious to the evils our own country committed / commits. What I am saying is haven’t we learned anything? Are the people who agree and praise this person, going to sit back and “drink the juice” if that person is the leader and decides all the poor people should be put away or killed? I honestly fear the answer.

I no longer believe I live in a “great” country. I used to. I used to feel so proud. The more I learn however, the more disheartened I become. It isn’t about policy, its about the kind of person we would chose to represent “us” which is why I have lost hope. There are so many people who would chose to put “that type of person” in the top seat.

This is what makes me feel so ill. Deeply embarrassed and discouraged. I will continue to pray that the rest of us will not let that happen. There must be someone who isn’t a criminal, who isn’t so offensive who could represent us and lead us going forward.

I hope I haven’t been offensive in stating my thoughts. As mentioned, if you disagree due to anything BESIDES the “who they are as a person” that’s okay, just allow me my opinion too and pass the comment section. I’m not trying to start controversies.

Thanks for the read. I’ll get back to mindfulness. After the tears have dried.

K~