Mindful Manipulation

This new project for NANOWRIMO is a cathartic work. There is definitely some agonizing going on because of the subject matter. In a fictionalized context, I am writing about real trauma I experienced. Yet, in doing so, I hope to release all the negative feelings associated with it.

Hope being the key word. The story is quite fun to write despite the horrors. Recalling those events, is difficult. As I write, I catch myself thinking about just how awful it really was. These things happened to me and they completely fit inside a horror story. Well, I intended to write more of a psychological thriller/suspense but I seem to be reverting back into my horror. It just works better. The experience of it wasn’t thrilling or suspenseful, it was truly horrific. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when and how bad.

This story addresses what it is like to be stuck in a hostile work environment. Discrimination comes in more ways than you might think. Well, I was surprised. Quite honestly I had not ever experienced such discrimination until I moved to the East Coast. In Seattle I was never asked to leave the room so the “men” could talk. Good thing too because I didn’t react so great. At first I simply laughed until I saw the business man was serious. I left the room, glaring, clenched jaw.

Please don’t get me wrong, most people have been really kind, great to work with or teach karate to. I had heard rumors of people talking disparagingly about foreign workers, differently abled employees, but hearing it happen is quite another thing. Being the target another all together.

I was taught to respect people and be kind, especially if someone older. I have always had compassion for others and loved animals. I taught karate and still, due to the depths of my grief, I was bullied.

So it is agonizing to write, yet cathartic too. I don’t know if I’ll ever polish it up enough for public reading, but getting it out of my head is what is really worth all the effort to me.

So, word count stands at: 4015 Not really that great but I am getting caught up. It does feel good for the words to flow, to not feel so numb anymore. To be able to feel again.

I wish all NANO’s much success and joy in the race.

National Novel Writing Month

As always, thanks for the read.

K~